True love doesn’t mean
having a relationship of ease, it means making the continual choice to love and
forgive. In fact, one of the most important truths we can grasp about true love
is that it isn’t discovered; it’s created. True love is the result of choosing
to love your spouse every day no matter the situation. It sprouts and grows
through the process of making that choice daily, because they are many things
that could make this difficulty. Many couples who have been happily married for
several years have made it known that their love grew deeper with years than it
were when they first married. The love they experienced in their early years is
only a small fraction of the fullness of love they currently feel for each
other due to working out their differences. Their true love was created not
simply discovered.
However, if you are
thinking of going into a relationship or if you find yourself falling in love,
and ready to date, keep this in mind: relationship is way, way beyond just love
and attraction. Don’t think it is like in fairy tales, once true love is found,
people live happily ever after. Granted couples can look into each other's eyes
and have those warm fuzzy feelings. However, truth is, all couples will have
their ups and downs. Happily ever after seems to simply a perfect relationship
without disagreements; when in reality those don’t exist.
If you are in a perfect
relationship, you’ll get bored one day. Disagreements spice your marriage if
properly handled because they allow you to talk your spouse the truth about how
you really feel without pretense. And one of the couples will want to run away.
So, is it possible to create and maintain a long lasting and blissful
relationship, or can one even dream of creating the relationship of his or her
dream? You bet!
The first step is to
arm yourself with the genuine knowledge and instructions on how to create your
soul-based relationship is if you can ever find a comprehensive course of
instructions and learn more about the truth of relationship, and especially how
you can draw in your soul mate.
Since practically
anyone can learn the nuts and bolts of relationship building, focusing on some
basic techniques that can be learned is a must. The main ones that guarantee
true love in no particular order are:
Understand
yourself: What is your personality? You may be surprised.
Some people live for a long time and never come to understand or even realize
why they are the way they are. And why is this important? It determines how you
look at the world, how you will interpret the events occurring in your life,
and who you are will help your partner determine how to react to you.
Rapport:
Develop rapport with others well. In a nutshell, what it takes is to ask
questions, have a positive, open attitude, encourage an open exchange of
communication, listen to spouse and share positive feedback.
Conflict
Resolution: Resolve negative issues and conflicts without too
much friction. How do you handle conflict? If you can put your ego aside pretty
much and try to keep friction to the barest minimum, your relationships should
move along fairly smoothly. If you can agree to disagree on certain things with
the other party involved that will help, too. In short, conflict resolution
means to pretty much deal with others as you would want them to deal with you. Once
true love is found, people live happily ever after. So it can be said that true
love does exist.
True love equals our
soul mate, someone that we love unconditionally the rest of our lives. Is it
even possible to be involved with another person until the day that you die? Do
you just grow to tolerate them and feel comfortable with them, as you feel with
a parent or sibling? Look at the divorce rate in the world right now.
Is it because we go
into marriage, expecting the infatuation and excitement to stay forever?
Obviously, it’s going to fade. After a few years, we are no longer going to
surprise one another; our hearts are no longer going to drop when the person
walks into a room. We are going to just grow accustomed to them always being
around, and we’ll appreciate them for that if they are doing right by us. So where
does this misconception come from that we will be happily love all eternity
without any effort?
Movies have to be
blamed for this. Most of us watch romance movies to fill a void inside of us.
We want that perfect person to chase after us, give us everything, and make us
fall in love. More than anything, we want that happy ending.
We watch a movie with
as an old couple; she has Alzheimer’s disease. Yet, she somehow is able to
romance her husband, and they die together in bed some years after. We would
call this, true love. It’s nice to
watch, and it’s nice as a movie. And
yes, it’s nice. But when it doesn’t happen this way in real life, we are
disappointed and feel like our relationships are fake and lacking. This results
in why a large number of people divorce. They are simple unsatisfied with the
lack of movie love in their marriage.
It’s hopeless to constantly
be searching for that type of love. Instead of trying to work on a relationship
that seems to be going bad, we just decide to give up all together believing if
it’s true love; you wouldn’t have to work so hard at it. And that is simply not
the case.
The definition of true
love isn’t love that is perfect. True love is recognizing the many
imperfections and still wanting to be with the person, still fighting your
hardest to make the relationship work because you couldn’t picture not having
them in your life for even one day. True love is about having many differences
and disagreements, but still respecting and caring deeply about the person in
the end. It is something that we want to hold on to, no matter what. It is not
about being the perfect relationship.
Perfect is not the
definition of true love, it’s the complete opposite. So will we ever really
know when we found our one and only true love? Probably not. We go through
relationship after relationship always telling ourselves that this person is not
the one for us. But the truth is, we don’t really know. And we probably won’t
lay eyes on someone for the first time and just know that person is the one.
Reality isn’t like the movie. If you find someone who makes you laugh, makes
you cry, makes you crazy, stick with them. If you can’t imagine life without
them in your life, don’t give up no matter how hard things get.
Love is supposed to
challenge us, that is the role of little argument or disagreement. Who wants
perfect when you can have passion? Couples who have healthy relationships find
ways of working together, and through to the end of it. Instead of turning to
movies or books to try and find out what true love really means, make up your
own definition of what you want true love to mean to you.
You can achieve true
love if you’re realistic about its meaning. The feeling that you cannot live
without them, or you wouldn’t imagine a world without them is a sign that true
love can be created with them. They also fill you with joy. You even argue with
this person, but always seem to get through. You look out for this person, and
never let them in harm’s way. Once you feel that about someone, then you’ve
understood the true meaning of love.
